1. Personalization
Highly ADD people take everything personally.... or not at all.

ADD people tend to be more sensitive to criticism. They (we) tend to want "everyone to like us", and feel bad when that isn't the case. ADDers also read things into statements or actions that may not actually be there. Even positive feedback may be suspect.

When I walk into a room and hear people laughing, I automatically assume they were talking about me. The part of my brain that went to college knows this is crazy, but the other part of my brain, Neanderthal brute that it is, overpowers this voice of reason.

Remember: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

In work, we tend to personalize projects. This means that we may not follow directions or may become more concerned with doing it "our way", rather than the "right way". Projects which cannot be personalized may be neglected. Then we get called "lazy" or other such wonderfully motivating things, which of course we take very personally.

The positive side of this trait is that projects that we can take a personal interest in become an immediate priority, often with amazing results.

What to do:

1. Try NOT to see criticism or other negatives as personal attacks.
Most of the time, they're not. They are simply either people doing their job, or trying to help. Also, remember that while we as ADDers ask Non-ADDers to "put up" with us, we must also appreciate the frustration that they feel when doing so.

Living with ADD is tough. Living with an ADDer is too.

Disclaimer: Some people are into making such attacks. Ignore them.

2. Find a project you can personalize to your heart's content.
Then do something else. Use this "personal project" as a reward for completing the mundane chores of life.

Non-ADD people (ie - employers) can maximize this trait by assigning you jobs which can be personalized. But again, some things simply cannot. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it. Do your best. The real trickis to find a job that is best suited to your unique ADD abilities and strengths.

2. Procrastination

Highly ADD people tend to be chronic procrastinators.

Basically, the entire concept of time is a priority system. Such prioritizing is precisely what the ADD brain is not designed to do. According to Dr. Ed Hallowell, "Time parcels moments out into separate bits so that we can do one thing at a time. In ADD, this does not happen. Time becomes a black hole. To the person who has ADD it feels as if everything is happening all at once."

Or maybe not at all.

Hallowell's "black hole" of time means a lot more than simply the occasional missed deadline. Planning involves estimating how long it is until something happens; having some kind of "feel" of how long an hour or a week is. While the average person hears a countdown as "10, 9, 8, 7, etc., the ADDer might as well hear "10, 9. 100, 4, 3, 16, 0 Blastoff!". The ADDer simply does not have the ability to accurately judge distance, past or future, where time is concerned.

To paraphrase my rearview mirror, "Deadlines are closer than they appear".

Simply put, we procrastinate because we

1. Do not realize how long it has been since we were asked to do something

2. Do not realize how little time we may have left before the deadline

3. Get distracted, sidetracked or bored with whatever it is that we are supposed to be working on.

What to do

Become a List Maker.

Make "To Do" lists: what to do this month, what to do this week and what to do today. Cross things off as they are completed. Reward yourself!!

Set Goals

Make personal deadlines well in advance of actual due dates. Remember to treat these earlier personal deadlines as if they are real.

Use Technology

There are all kinds of personal planners, software and other gadgets to assist you with this problem. Stop putting it off! Get some!

Those who live or work with an ADD person will need to help them remember deadlines and goals.

3. Disorganization

Highly ADD people are "Organizationally Challenged".

If ever lost, the ADDer is easily tracked by the trail of clutter left in his wake. Our offices are "organized" not by files, but in piles. In short, the chaos of ADD thinking is made manifest in the physical environment.

There are books full of all kinds of tips about getting your stuff together AND remembering where you put it. The trouble with these books is they tend to be read by people who are already organized anyway . The "Organizationally Disenfranchised" rarely buy such books. If they do, then they lose them before they have a chance to read them.

For ADDers, the problem is not a lack of knowledge. The problem is the actual application.

Probably the best solution, for those who can afford it, is to hire someone to organize things for you. But for the rest of us, there are post-it notes, vertical files... and lots of piles of stuff.

Perhaps the most overlooked organizational tool is The Trash Can This extremely helpful piece of technology is not that difficult to use, so don't be intimidated by it. Just toss those old pieces of paper and Kleenex right in there! You'll be amazed how much this simple orgazational task of "cleaning house" can help.

Or so I'm told.

4. Randomization

Highly ADD people tend to operate in a Random Access mode.

This is not a problem for us. It is a problem for those around us, especially if they don't know what's happening.

We make these apparently random, off the wall comments because we think non-linearly. Most people think in a rather linear pattern, with "A" being more closely related to "B" than to "C" and so on. Not ADD folk. We think in Radial Patterns. Point "A" is not the beginning of some line of thought, "A" is at the center of our circle of thught, surrounded by other circles, with points "B" "C" "X" "Y" "Z" and God only know what else "orbiting" this center.

I call this "Radial Thinking"

In this configuration, point "A" is just as close to "B" as it is to "Z". This makes perfect sense to us. We can be talking about dog food, and say something about how much food our hamster eats, and it makes perfect sense because its in the same "orbit".

To really complicate the picture, each orbiting circle of thought can have all kinds of tangents. All of these orbits and tangents will still make sense to an ADDer - up to a point.

Even we have our limits.

But to a non-ADD, linear thinker, it is very confusing. They have trouble keeping track of all of these seemingly unrelated topics.

What to do

Be nice to the Non-ADDers.
They're doing the best they can.

They really can't help it.

5. Incompletion

Highly ADD people tend to not complete things.

There are a number of reasons for this. We get distracted. We get bored, and find something new to work on.

We get overwhelmed.

We give up.

I think that we often avoid completion because we don't want to lose focus. Hyper-Focus is a Big Word in ADD We love to finally have something that holds our attention, so we prolong it as much as possible.

What to do

1. Divide larger tasks into smaller, more managable sections.
Celebrate each "completion" as you work your way through the project, keeping your eye on the ultimate goal as you do.

2. Make specific, measurable and acheivable goals

3. Establish Deadlines. Stick to them.

6. Frustration

Highly ADD people tend to get easily frustrated. People who live with ADD people tend to get frustrated.

People who write about ADD people tend to get frustrated.

There are plenty of reasons for this. The real issue is

What to do With segues like that, I should be in radio

Recognize what is causing the frustration.
Try to deal with the cause rather than the symptom.

Don't become fixated on the frustration.
Move on. At least become frustrated with something different. We tend to "dig in" sometimes. Don't. Recognize what is happening and walk away. Give it a rest. Don't give up, but don't keep making the hole deeper.

Find some kind of enjoyable physical activity to use as a vent
Run. Walk. Swim. Play a musical instrument. Anything that works as a release.

7. Manipulation

Highly ADD people can be real manipulators.

Sometimes my honesty and frankness amazes even me. But then again, maybe I'm just trying to manipulate you.

We throw fits. We overreact. We do all kinds of really dishonorable things just to get our way. Why?

Because we are human.

And because we can.

ADD kids and aldults are smart people. We can figure out real fast how to cover our butts and get what we want. Or so we think. Sometimes it works.

This is an important point for parents of ADD kids. If the child learns that he can manipulate others by his actions, he will carry that lesson into adulthood. These kids grow into the adult ADDers who have so many social problems.

The worst thing you can do for your ADD child is to teach them that manipulation works.
To do so is to condemn them to a life of failed relationships, lonliness, frustration and failure. This manipulation is one of the first behaviors that newly diagnosed Adult ADDers have to recognize and work on.

What to do

1. Rather than manipulate, learn to co-operate.

2. Become very aware of your motives and actions.

3. Practice self-observation