Minton's Playhouse
Home | All about Me: the Family | All about Me: Growing Up | All about Me: High School years | All about Me: TODAY | All about Me: the FUTURE | PhotoMax | Baby Talk | Gotta Have FRIENDS | Relationships: Past & Future | On Gay Marriage | I REMEMBER... | Back to Blackwell | Teaching | Welcome to the Theater | My FAVORITE THINGS | Loving Lynda Barry | I confess! I'm a BRIGHT | Max's Book Club | my personal interests LINKS | HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE | Angels in America | Good Witch / Bad Witch | Triumphs over Homophobia and Racism: the Amazing Gay Pride Month June, 2003 | HOWARD DEAN for PRESIDENT | BUSH: POSER, LIAR, CRIMINAL, FOOL | WHY WE HATE BUSH -- by Ted Rall | Impeach the Lying Bastard ! | A New Birth of Freedom | COMPASSIONATE FASCISM: the Republican Agenda | CALIFORNIA RECALL | Max Rants | What's NEWS ? | send MAX e-mail
All about Me: Growing Up

My first 14 years
Every picture tells a story, don't it...
I've been told my character was clearly established at a
very young age. I've been accused of being an exhibitionist.



Three years old, at a birthday party
and pissed off because it wasn't
mine. Always the star, never in the
chorus. Somebody slap that kid...

Eight months later, four at last!


[right]      Age 7,
beginning of the 3rd grade, 
Washington Elementary School, 
Blackwell, Oklahoma. I was the
smart kid, nicknamed Professor
Gizmo after a cartoon character.
But I was also a "mean" kid, quick
to defend myself when picked on.
I had already put one older kid in
the hospital, beating him in the
head with a shovel handle when
he jumped me and rubbed my
face in the snow. I was seven, he
was eleven. Oklahoma Justice...

The Elementary School years: Grade by Grade
  1. Mrs. Hoover, in Norman Oklahoma.  Classic old hag.
  2. Edith Chiles, Houston, dyed her hair red, looked sleazy,
      smoked and was <whisper> divorced. She once tried to
      spank me for telling a lie to get Cecil Suggs in trouble. My
      mom told her, "If you do, I'll be down there and spank you."
      Of course, when I got home my mom beat my ass royal.
      Houston was, I guess, the cool school, producing most of
      the elite in Jr. High and High School.
  3. Thelma Fitzgerald, Washington, took books away from
      me that were "for grown-ups" [e.g. Gulliver's Travels,
      unabridged ] and made me read the damn "Happy  
      Hollisters." She was a total fascist. Dumb as dirt. She
      and Zelma married brothers and lived next door to
      each other. What kind of pathology was that?
      Washington semed to be the lower-class school.
      I think the only Incredibly Popular person who came
      from Washington was Jeanie Bush.
   4. Mildred McKern, Washington, nice lady, but she
       read us all those damn Margurite Henry horsie books 
       every day,  like King of the Wind and Misty of Chincotegue,
       and then broke down crying  when they had to put Black
       Gold down. Once in the All Purpose room, she played 
       "Over the Rainbow" on the violin for us. Classic Old Maid.
       Looked considerably like the horses she loved. Big teeth.
    5. Eilene Fulton, Washington, my favorite. A surprisingly
       gifted and autocratic farm wife with a patrician streak
       and a big thraoty voice. I was The Pet. She was a total 
       elitist, adored the smart kids -- especially me -- though
       her technique with the dumb kids was a little more
        -- well -- primative. [She gave me a fly-swatter to
       hit Billy Ray with if he annoyed me.] I never had to do
       those stupid Miss Kittle penmanship practices. She
       let me play with the science cabinet instead. LOL.
       I guess that was the Gifted Program. She used to come
       over to my house and hang out with my mom. Actually
       gave me the Outstanding Student trophy over Mark
       Cartwright, who was sort of the Meryl Streep of the
       Outstanding Student circuit. I polish it daily. The year
       was marred by an ugly incident at the Valentine's Party.
    6. Ruth Mickey, Washington. The worst. Crude, mean,
        ignorant. Always complaining that someone needed to
        go home and "worsch" their sneakers. Big-boned gal.
        She was like a preview for Opal Stafford. She once
        sent me and Larry Ewy to the Principal's Office for
        asking her questions she didn't know the answers to.
        [How pathetic is that? A tyrant with self-esteem issues.]
        Mr. Stevenson said, "What would I do if everybody
        asked Mrs. Mickey questions she couldn't answer?"
        I said, "Fire her."
I remember hanging around with Kenny Campbell, Merl Stevens,
John Davis, Tommy Hendricks, Sonny Allender and Jerry McDaniels.
Jerry was the bad boy. Did everybody know what he was doing
behind his social studies book? 
Myrta Kennon was the school bully. Bruce Strause was the school
victim. Schoolyard cruelty was amazing, and I was the worst. Big
appologies to those I was mean to... Someone should take me on
"Jenny Jones" and expose me for the hateful little creep that I was.
"Yes, Jenny, it's true. I broke Sonny's arm and called Patricia 'Pat
the Fat'." Boo, hiss. Somebody should have kicked my ass.
Had big crushes [usually for about a week at a time] on Sarah
Cunningham, Pam Blackburn, Teresa Raper, Tamera Balthus,
but was really in Eternal Love with Twila West. Yeah, I was a
smart kid, but was most identified as "the Boy who could Draw"...
Twila was "the Girl who could Draw." I was wild about comic books,
and drew a lot of Superman pictures. Twila drew a lot of glamorous 
 mermaids sitting on rocks and combing their hair.

What about JUNIOR HIGH ?

Blackwell Junior High School

There's really not a lot one
can say about Junior High...


...yeah, you could say that. mother died when I was in the seventh grade, and I got
very anti-social and bitter after that. I don't remember a lot of
those three years. Rumors about an English teacher's glass eye.
Kids being tortured by a semi-retarded PE teacher. Bobby Niles
telling everybody their IQ scores [DAMN Barbara Logan!] 
Horrible old cow Mrs. Armor who loved Nixon and always
ranted against Bobby Kennedy. Reqired PE in the seventh grade
with the nightmare of communal showers. Fannie Kennamore, 
the art teacher who would fade away to Alzheimer's before
anyone knew what it was. Roger Welch -- the first of all those
deaths that plagued our class.
Junior High sucks.


  Twila once said that the only thing we'd all
  remember about junior high was EDITH ROOT.  
  I remember an incomplete homework asignment,
  a smart-ass remark, and BAM -- Mrs. Root karate-
  chopped me in the back of the neck. They don't make
  teachers like that any more. Or maybe teachers like that 
  just don't make parole... Remember when she fell out of
  her chair and, after a moment of stunned silence, she 
  snarled from the floor behind her desk, "Isn't anyone
  going to help me up!" No one did. She retired a couple
  of years later, and since that day not one child on earth
  has really learned how to diagram sentences.
 [extra credit:  Remember the totally preposterous and
 creepy rumor about her bizarre physical configuration...]

Enter supporting content here